In fifth grade, we got to pick our own instruments. The middle-school band director came over and showed us all the options, so we could make an informed decision about exactly which faction of nerds under the larger umbrella of "band geek" we wanted to belong to. I chose the clarinet, which is what most girls who didn't choose the flute picked, but if I had known the unbelievable array of music-making technology that was out there, my choice might have been different.
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The pages of Popular Science reveal all the instruments you need for the world's weirdest orchestra. For the indecisive, there's the "cello-horn," pictured above. For giants, there's the 14-foot fiddle. And for those who like playing with their food, the singing coconut makes a nice fit. Personally, I would pick the typewriter that plays music as you type words.
Peruse the archive gallery above to find the weird old instrument that's right for you.